As the rain started to fall softly and first, then it became more determined as it targeted us. All the mess of our meal was gathered up and brought inside just in time before the rain fell like anvils. Just as quickly as the rain started, it suddenly stopped, so I stepped out with my camera into the backyard to see what I could photograph. Through the fence and out onto a narrow walkway I stood alone and turned my gaze toward the sky. It was boiling, and churning in a perfect monochromatic tonal range and frowned down upon me. Kneeling down; I began to photograph the sky while allowing the trees and a light pole to be included. It seemed that all were looking down at me, like death hovering over until the permitted time to move in. After many frames I retreated back inside satisfied that I had something to share for the day.
Laying down to rest; I soon fell into a shallow sleep while my family watched a movie. The ringing phone brought me just below the surface of being completely awake. I could hear my mother talking to an unknown person in an urgent tone. I was fully awake now and I realized my Mom was talking about my Father. She hung up the phone and the look on her face told me it was serious. My Father has collapsed either from a heart attack or a stroke. He was sitting in the chair and suddenly got a strange look on his face, started to drool and began to slump over. My cousin reached out and caught him before he fell out of the chair. His breathing was erratic and he had broken out in a cold sweat. When the paramedics arrived he had come to somewhat, but his speech was slurred and he had no memory of what just happened. Since I was not there I'm not sure of all that transpired before he was loaded into the ambulance and transported swiftly to the hospital ER. Our job now was to get to the ER and play the waiting game.
My wife, Mother and me gathered ourselves together and headed for the hospital to await his arrival. It was silent as we drove and each one of us dealt with our fear in our own way. I placed a call to one of the Pastors from our church to ask for prayer, and he graciously prayed with me on the phone for my father’s health. I was to afraid to do it myself as I imagined my prayers bouncing off the roof of the car as I nearly drowned in my doubt and worry. “Would God see him through this”, I asked myself. “What it he slips into eternity without being reconciled to God through Christ”, I continued to pepper myself with questions? It was crushing me to think that my Father was alone on that long ride. This quiet man who has no use for words, but moves mountain's by his deeds was now laying on some sterile gurney with his life in the hands of strangers. As soon as we got to the hospital they went inside to wait while I stayed outside to call my best friend. Hearing his voice on the other end was reassuring and it helped me to regain my strength. He reminded me to hang on to my faith and that God will see him through this. After I finished the call; I stood there alone and breathed deeply the fresh evening air. Inside of my soul I cried out to God. “Please God save my Father from this; he doesn’t know you and I fear for his soul”. “Please God, cradle him within your hands across the rough waters and deliver him safe to the shore”, I prayed with as much faith as I could muster. Just then the lightning started to flash across the evening sky in brilliant whites and its electric tentacles probed as far as I could see. Was this just a storm, or was God letting me know that he heard my cries, and that he was there?
By now my phone was beginning to ring frequently as news of my Father’s situation started to reach family members. I repeated the same thing over and over again to many concerned friends and family while I seemingly paced a groove into the sidewalk. Finally, the ambulance pulled in and I raced inside to peer through the window of the ER door to spy him being rolled in. The lady at the counter gave us the green light to go in and see him. He was sitting up and looked really good in spite what we had heard as well as the things we imagined. “How you feeling Pops”, I asked as I moved closer to kiss him on the forehead? “Oh not too bad I guess”, he replied trying to sound upbeat. Wires twisted and crawled form all directions and hungrily attached themselves to his chest. Monitors blinked out sequences of numbers while chirps and bells directed ER staff here and there. Despite his blood pressure being low, his color was good and his spirits seemed high as we hovered around him. The poked him with a needle and slowly drew out his blood to start the process of elimination to determine what had happened. They were looking for specific enzymes that would indicate a heart attack. As the lab tech rolled her cart out the door to the lab; I had no idea that the wait was only just beginning. There were long days still ahead.
Finally, after at least an anxious hour the Doctor came in to let us speak with us. His EKG looked good and thankfully he had no enzymes in his blood. At least he hadn’t had a heart attack. The Doctor asked my Father many questions as I listened closely, so as to not miss anything. After a few minutes of querying him, he told him that he was going to have an angiogram the next day followed by a brain CT scan to check for a stroke. My Dad just had to sit there propped up and out of his element while he waited to be assigned a room for the night. My wife had gone to get our children as they were desperate to see their Grandfather. They entered the room cautiously at first, but upon seeing him upright the speed walked to collapse into his embrace. Smiles stretched across all of their faces and the hugs and kisses flowed. Just as quickly as they entered, they had to go back to the waiting room to stay out from under the feet of the staff. I watched my Mother as she sat close to my dad and expressed her concerns for his health. Only for a moment; I allowed myself to pretend that they had never gotten divorced, and they were here together as married people. It was surreal, and I savored the fantasy for as long as I could. When reality took hold of me again, my Mom was asking my wife to take her home as it was getting late. She leaned down and kissed my Dad on his forehead and told him to take better care of himself then she said goodbye. With our girls in tow, my wife took my Mom home promising me she would be right back.
Suddenly, Father and son were alone in this uncomfortable room waiting for a sign that the day was going to come to a close. Sitting there next to my Father; I remembered my worry over his soul and I felt the fear well up in me. “How do I talk to him about this”, I wondered to myself? “God please give me the strength and the words I will need to help him understand my worry over his soul”, I prayed. Looking at the floor I could see the shadows of people and staff moving by, and I worried that somebody would come in at any moment and interrupt the pending conversation. Pushing my fear aside, I looked at my Dad and said, “Pops, if something happens to you and you leave us; I need to know the condition of your soul”. He didn’t respond. I continued, “It’s not just me who worries Dad, it’s your two Grand-daughters who have ask me if they will eve see Grandpa in heaven”. His body language told me he was uncomfortable, but I pressed him. “Dad, I know my life has not always appeared to line up with my faith, but I believe there is a Heaven and a Hell”, I said. “It’s a simple matter that you can easily clear up if you wish to”, I pleaded. Surprisingly, my Father spoke to me and said, “What do I need to do”? My voice cracked a little as I told him that he needed to accept Jesus as his savior and ask to be forgiven of his sins. Without warning he blurted out, “Ok, I accept him”. “Dad, this is a serious matter and we need to pray together, is that ok”, I asked? He nodded his approval and I moved to toward the door to pull it closed, so that we had more privacy. I was afraid that the words would not come, or that I we would be interrupted. Taking his hand in mine I asked him to bow his head and pray with me. It felt good to have his work worn hand in mine as I began to pray to myself at first asking God for strength. For the next minutes and a half; I lead my Father to the Lord by the Grace of God. I could imagine his name being recorded in the Book of Life, and the rejoicing of Angles as his name was written across the page of that precious tomb. I leaned over close to him and kissed him again and told him how grateful I was that he made that decision. My life now had one less worry as I knew that this great man would enter eternity to live forever.
The little hand on the clock was moving close to eleven o’clock when my wife and girls got back to the ER. Not long after they arrived he was finally assigned his room. We made small talk as we took the journey on the elevator to his room. It was strange that this mighty man was now prone and relying on the help of others. Even laying down it seemed that he was larger than life and I was thankful to be his Son. The elevator quietly door opened and the nurse slowly pushed him out and down the long hallway to the cardiac unit. Fortunately, he had a room all to himself, and I hoped that would mean a night of peace and rest for him. They began the process of settling him in as they hooked up wires to him. Blinking monitors towered over his bed and seemed to be peering down at him. My girls sat on the floor and talked while my wife and I sat next to his bed. My Father looked at me and said, “These girls need to go home to bed and there is nothing more to do tonight”. He was right of course, but I hated the thought of leaving him alone. I wrote my phone numbers on the dry erase board, so that nurse(s) could call me if anything happened. We all took turns saying goodbye, and I went last. Once again; I kissed his forehead and said, “I love you Pops”! “I love you too”, he replied. I told him that I would call him first thing in the morning before I came back to the hospital. As we walked out of the room; I turned to look one more time at him lying so vulnerable in that bed. “Was he going to be alright”, I wondered? “God please keep him safe tonight”, I pleaded.
On the journey home I replayed the events of the day over and over again in my mind. Suddenly, I remembered my Dad’s decision to follow Christ and I shared it with my family. My daughters gasped, squealed, and started talking about seeing Grandpa in Heaven. It filled my heart with joy to know that that burden was now lifted from their hearts as well. Now it was time to sleep, and put the cares of the day on hold. Sleep overtook me quickly after my head hit the pillow, and I drifted effortlessly in a dreamless slumber.
To be continued…
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