My eyes bounced open then slowly slid back down to shield from the light that was determined to pry its way in. I could hear my wife calling me as her voice carried from the bathroom, down the hallway and into my ears. Propping myself up on one elbow; I began to try and will myself to come fully awake and place my feet on the floor. My girls were still asleep as their spring vacation kept them out of classes for one more day. For a moment while I shook off my sleepiness, my mind was free of the events from the previous day. It wasn't anything in specific that I was thinking about, but my thoughts were just moment by moment. Then without warning; I remembered that my Father was in the hospital and the desperate and tense hours of worry form yesterday. My stomach began to churn and worry poured over me like hot, searing oil. I hurried into the kitchen and retrieved the hospital number then dialed my Father's floor. The lady who answered quickly connected me with his room and two rings later I heard my father's voice. "Hello", he said in a fairly chipper tone. "Hey Pops, how you feeling this morning", I inquired? "Not too bad at all, better than yesterday", he said. We proceeded to talk about such things as what he had eaten for breakfast, how he slept last night, and what he wanted from his home before I came to see him. He informed that he was going to have his angiogram later that afternoon, and that I should just wait till it was done to come to the hospital. I asked if he was sure about that and he told me not to worry, and that he would call me before they took him for the procedure. "I love you Pappa", I told him. "Well, I love you too", he replied. As we said goodbye and hung up the phone; I was relieved to hear him in such high spirits, but my stomach still sloshed around in turmoil. I grabbed my camera, opened my sliding glass door, pulled he curtains together and waited to photograph some of my winged neighbors.
Many wonderful birds sat in safe little perches just beyond the reach of my lens, so I decided to venture out to try and get a little closer. With all of my Ninja skills flowing; I crept as close as I dare to a female Blue Bird. How silly I must have looked with my bare feet and backwards hat as I tried to sneak closer to my target. As I rounded my storage shed to where I thought she would be; I realized that I had misjudged it and she saw me. Curiously though she didn't fly away in panic, but actually moved to a tree nearer me. She was a little higher up, but plenty close to fill my frame. Fumbling with my camera as I was sure she was going to take off at any second; I finally got my settings right and began to squeeze of frames. It was clear that this little gem was studying me, and she had assessed me to be of no threat. So she sat there for me like a beautiful lady posing for portrait. She turned this way and that, so that all of her angles could be photographed. She even swooped down at one point to pick up a bug in her beak and fly back to the same branch. It was a relief to know that I had a good image for P-365 and that I would not have to shoot later on if I didn't want too.
Out of the corner of my eye I spied my children coming out the door to greet me, so I walked back up toward my home to take them in my arms and give them morning kisses. We went back into the house to make a late breakfast and they talked about Grandpa all the way. It felt good to be a Father as I watched them devour their waffles with their eyes glued to the TV. After I cleaned up the kitchen, we all set about to straighten the house and put things in their place. All of the chaos had left many things just lying around and I believe that a tidy house is a happy house. My girls don't agree with that philosophy, but I often remind them that it will serve them well as they go out into this big and scary world. We worked until the ringing of the phone brought it to a halt. Caller ID displayed the hospital number and I answered it. "Hello", I said. "Scott, they are taking me in for the angiogram now and I should be done in about an hour an a half", he informed me. "Alright Dad, I will stop by your house first and then come up to see you", I told him. Well at least the ball is rolling now, and hopefully soon we will have some answers.
The girls and I were finishing up a few last things when my wife called me. She was coming home early and told me to just wait for her so she could go with us. When she arrived home I gathered up my camera and my laptop and we all headed out as a family. We drove first to my Father's house so that I could pick up some things for him. Upon entering the house, it felt strange to be in there without my Father. I wondered silently how I would ever handle it should I have to enter it because he wasn't coming home again. I prayed silently that this would not be happening any time soon. Plus, only a few days ago a stranger(s) walked freely in my Dad's home and stole his guns. The air felt tainted with evil as if the spirit of the intruder had somehow been trapped inside unable to follow its host back out. I shuddered to think of what could have happened had my Father been home when they broke in. Wasting no time; I gathered up the items I came for and quickly headed out the door to my waiting family.
Although the day had started out with a sunny smile, as we pulled into the hospital the clouds were starting to gather in dark clumps. Inside I was hoping that the weather was not again an ominous sign of things to come. I glared up at them as we walked to the entrance as if to warn them that I would not stand for any monkey-business from them. It was about three in the afternoon when we got to his room, and we found him relaxed in his bed watching TV. The girls rushed him and I only just pulled them back before the nurse came in to remind him not to raise his head. With care they then came to his bedside and leaned way down to plant healing kisses upon him. He soaked up their affection as the desert soaks up a sudden rain. The water was carried down deep into his soul and it refreshed him. I took my turn at his side and kissed his head softly and stroked his hand. "How did it go Pop's", I asked him? "Nothing to it, I was awake the whole time", he said. "Do they know anything yet", I asked? "Not until the Doctor reads the results later today", he replied. It wasn't a surprise that there was going to be more waiting involved and I resolved myself to occupy my mind to help pass the time.
After some small talk and half watching TV, we decided to head down to the guest room to relax and let my Dad eat and rest. My wife and kids went ahead of me as I decided to get out my camera and photograph out the window. It was not a very exciting scene, but I wondered if this might be more appropriate for the project as it was close to where my Father was at. Plus, being up so high and seeing things differently made me hope that an interesting image could be harvested from the moment. In the distance, a huge water tower towered over the trees and homes and could have just as well been an Alien robot poised to smash everything to bits. After taking a few shots; I told my Dad we would be back soon and headed out to join my family.
Upon re-joining my wife and kids; I sat at the table and brought out my laptop to connect with the world and surf. My home page is Photo Sig and I wandered if anyone was thinking that I had given up on my project. I wondered if really mattered if I just stopped. After all, I had no idea of what was ahead and it may get really difficult to keep it going. Honestly, I wished I could just post some kind of message to let followers know what was happening and that I had not given up. There seemed to be no way to accomplish this, so I just resolved myself to write and post as soon as I could. It felt good to be surfing, checking the news, and posting to my Face Book account to my friends what was happening. It was a nice little escape and it helped to pass the time. Not long after I had sat down, in walked my Aunt (Dad's Sister), Uncle, my cousin and her husband, along with another cousin. All but one cousin was there when my Father got sick on Easter. We hugged and traded pleasantries before leading them down to my Dad's room. He was glad to see them all as he knew they were worried since they witnessed it all. I excused myself to let them talk and headed back to my family.
Again I sat down to surf and try to keep my mind occupied. My flash drive was with me and had project photos that needed to be put in the proper folders as well as contact sheets made for the days I was behind. It was good work to keep my busy, to help me stay on track as much as I could. Suddenly a Doctor appeared in the door way with my cousin in tow. He introduced himself as the one who performed the Angiogram and proceeded to tell me that my Dad didn't have any significant blockage. "Praise God", I said to myself! He told me that he was unaware until now that my Dad had slurred speech after he regained consciousness on Sunday. He expressed his concern and told me that he should have a brain CT scan to check for a stroke, and/or blood clots. I agreed and the worry that had just seemed to be dealt a blow with the Doctors good news got back up off the floor and hissed in my face. I thanked the Doctor and just as quickly as he entered he disappeared out the door. The brain CT scan would not happen until after my Dad's bed rest was over at eight, so all I could do was to wait and pray. Soon, my Aunt, Uncle, and other cousin came back in and we talked for a bit before they left. We exchanged hugs, handshakes and new cell phone numbers before they too disappeared out the door and toward the elevators.
We gathered our things and headed back down to my Father's room to check on him. He looked tired as he lay there and some of the spunk he had earlier was missing. "Well what do you think about the
Brain CT scan Dad" I asked him? I just want out of here and if that's what it takes then let’s get it over with", he grunted! The nurse came in and I asked her when it was to take place. She told me that it would not be till after his bed rest ended which was at eight p.m. Just then the nurse tech rolled in a cart of steaming food and my sweet little angles told me that they were getting hungry and my wife concurred. We decided to head to a Sub shop to get a sandwich and come right back. I think my Dad was anxious to be alone for a bit as he was tired and needed to eat in peace. We filled our stomachs with fresh sandwiches and munched on chips as we tried to converse about family matters. It felt forced though and my mind wandered as we ate. "Would they find something with the CT scan", "Will the Police ever catch the jerks that broke into my dad's home", "What will I do without my Pops around", I thought? These were some of the questions that were rattling around my mind. I didn't have any answers, only questions. Again I prayed, "Please God, see this through and let me Father be ok"!
We finished our food and headed back toward the hospital stopping at my Dad's house first. When we pulled into the driveway; I was greeted by his neighbor and I explained what had happened to my Dad. He expressed his concern and told me he would keep an extra eye on the place while we were away. He offered to pick up my Dad's mail the next day and I thanked him for his kindness. Reluctantly, I went back inside to check on things and turn on some more lights. When the police had come after my Father called them to tell them he was robbed, they brought him a special mat for the landing inside of his door. Stepping on this mat sent a signal to the local Policemen that a burglary was in progress at that address. It seemed a sure fire way to catch a returning thief. It made me feel good to know that was there. Convinced that all was well; I locked up and headed out. I told my wife to go on ahead and that I would take my Dad's truck, so they could leave separately later that night. My frame did not fit well in his truck and it was hard uncomfortable to drive. Still, it was filled with his things and it smelled like him. This was comforting me to think of him this way, and to be sitting where he usually sat. It made me hope that some of him was some how rubbing off on me.
We got back to the hospital and made our way up to his room and found him sitting up. He looked glad to be able to move a little bit more. He had eaten well and his mood had lifted a little. We took our places around his bed, my wife and I in chairs and the girls sat on the floor to color. My youngest snuck her hand up to hold Grandpa's hand and I tucked that special sight away to keep for a rainy day when I needed to smile. I couldn't tell you what was on TV. It was just white noise and helped pass the time. My dad spoke up and told me that the girls should be getting home to bed as they had their first day back from break tomorrow. My wife and children tried to protest, but he just waved a paternal finger and said, "They need their rest and so do you"! He was right as he most often is. My wife is with a child, and my two girls are little bears when they don't get enough sleep. They all gingerly hugged and kissed my Dad, and I walked them out into the hallway to say goodbye. I assured my wife that I would be ok and not to worry, but I wanted to sit with him. I kissed my wife and scooped up my little ones to squeeze them and bury my face into their hair. They walked down the long hall, rounded the corner and were gone.
Slowly, I walked back into the room and sat down next to my Dad. I'm quite sure the hands of the clock were purposely moving slowly just to spite me. We didn't really talk and it was ok because words seemed unnecessary. What else could be said anyway? We were both ready to have the scan and either deal with the news, or take one step closer to leaving this place behind. A new nurse walked in and checked my Dad's vitals and disconnected him from a monitor. She told me that they will be taking him soon for the CT scan. I was scared, but at the same time relieved that another part of this journey was about to begin. "Are you nervous Pops", I asked. "No, just ready to get it over with", he said. They brought in a wheel chair and assisted him to it. I watched him for signs of weakness, but only a found a proud man hungrily taking steps on his own. He looked silly in his gown and I laughed to myself at the sight, but didn't share my laugh with him. "I'll be right here waiting for you Pop's", I told him. He just nodded his approval and out he went with the nurse. I was alone and not sure what to do with myself. My eyes were getting heavy and threatened more than once to slip shut so that I could dream. I got out my laptop again and updated family on Face Book. I thought again about Project 365 and how in the heck was I going to catch up, as I was now two days behind. It bothered me that bothered me. "It's just a photo project and not your life’s work", I thought. "Yes, but it really feels like you are becoming the photographer you always thought you could be", I continued. "Well, if it's God's will, you'll finish this and perhaps publish it", I thought. My thoughts were interrupted by the return of my groovy robed Dad in his loaned chariot. "How did it go", I pressed him. "Piece of cake", he shot back! I peppered him with questions to which he had no answers to. It was more waiting, and I just sighed at that realization. "Go get some sleep Son", he chided. "There is nothing more to be done tonight", he said softly. Reluctantly, I agreed and gathered my things to head out. I placed my hand on his and leaned down to kiss him goodbye. I reminded him to pray and assured him that I and many others were filling the heavens with our petitions on his behalf. I told him I would call him first thing in the morning and walked out. I dared not look back, or I might have cried.
Driving out of the parking lot; I was torn between feeling like I was leaving him and happy to be out of that place. I cruised past his house to take a quick visual of his property. All seemed well, so I headed for home. The radio was on, but it only served as a way to help me stay awake. As I drove down our long driveway; I was glad to be at home and only moments away from a soft and familiar pillow. I hoped sleep would find me as easily again tonight as I hauled my gear inside. After putting my stuff away; I headed to the bedroom where my beautiful wife already lay fast asleep. As I slid underneath the covers; I soaked in the sound of her deep breathing and it soothed me. I thought about our unborn child and hoped that she would be able to meet her Grandfather this side of eternity. Sleep overtook me and my thoughts faded to black and I drifted away.
To be continued.
